Speechless – 4

Throughout the next 12 hours, a nurse came to my bed, checking my vital signs and other neuro checks required every 30 minutes. It was about 2 AM, I was in the ICU.  The ICU nurses were very diligent in their efforts to make sure I had not lapsed back into a worsened state from the earlier attack on my brain.  They were extremely patient with their queries: What was my name? What was my birthday? Could I feel this prick on my right foot and arm?  Where was I?  Who was that in the chair by my bedside? And sure, I knew all the answers in my head.  The yes/no questions, I could just nod my head.  But sometimes they needed words and words were just not coming out of my mouth.  At best, my answers were garbled versions of yes and no, or one-word answers that they accepted, but it did not sound right to me.  I was physically doing better but I was speechless.  I could not move my tongue and my mouth properly, the words did not want to come out.  How in the hell was I going to communicate?

I don’t remember too much of this, my wife certainly has helped fill in the details of that first night, or rather morning.  As, of course, she was awakened every 30 minutes too.  Remembering things continues to be very complicated for me, even a year later.  It was more than 4 months after my stroke that I remembered what was the first sign of my brain attack. I was watching TV, sitting comfortably in my chair and suddenly I lost the vision in my right eye. But the instant that occurred, the clot was already lodged in the left hemisphere of my brain via my left middle cerebral artery, destroying brain tissue via the ongoing loss of needed blood.  The damage to the left hemisphere was causing my lack of speech. It was good news that I could understand what was being asked of me, as the left hemisphere also controls the ability to understand language.  Some stroke patients are afflicted with both problems.

Brain dominance is determined by which hemisphere controls the ability to create and understand verbal language.  Brain hemisphere dominance should not be confused with hand dominance.  Statistics vary, but over 85% of Americans that are right handed have left hemisphere dominance.  But 60% of left handed people are also left hemisphere dominant.   Before my stroke, I had read a terrific book by Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor, ” My Stroke of Insight.”  Dr. Taylor is a Neuroanatomist that suffered a severe brain bleed from a genetic condition, a malformation of the arteries in her brain.  She describes her journey with incredible detail, which took her 8 years to complete her novel.  Her book has helped me piece together what happened to me and understand more about how my brain works.  I would highly recommend this book to anyone who has had a stroke and anyone who cares for stroke patients.

Dr. Bolte writes about how the hemispheres of our brain process information in uniquely different ways.  Both sides work together with every action we undertake. Our left brain thrives on details.  It houses our language center, using words  to communicate about anything and everything that happens in our lives.  Our right mind interprets nonverbal language and pays more attention to the subtle cues of language, including tone of voice, facial expression, and body language.  Our left brain understands the details of forming sentences and the meaning of the words we use (Taylor).  Since my left brain was damaged it could not recognize letters, or how letters fit together to create a sound, or be able to form that word I was always trying to get out.  It just wasn’t happening yet.  Thanks to the quick response of my wife, EMS, and ER personnel, I could move & feel my right arm and right leg, my vision was normal, I was recognizing persons, places and things around me, but the damage to my language center was more critical. I did not realize how large the blood clot was or how devasting my stroke had been before the miracle tPA drug was administered in the ER.

Surrogate writer: PMD

 

 

Author: Jim Daniel

Stroke Recovery a One Anniversary. Surrogate Writer PMD